RSSAll Entries Tagged With: "uriunal behavior in public"

Psychological Studies of Men in Public Restrooms

By Dr Joyce Bothers and Dr. Ruth Westhymen

Forgoing concern that the following behavioral, literary renderings might fall into the wrong hands, (i.e. the illiterate, the young, the elderly), here is the next segment of “village by village” sociological roundabout, searching for the fool’s paradise on the edge of ecstasy. 

EXCITABLE: Shorts half-twisted around, cannot find hole. Rips clothing in stressful dilemma.

SOCIABLE: Joins friends for a leak whether he needs to go or not.

NOSY: Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.

CROSS-EYED: Looks into the urinal at left, uses center urinal, flushes urinal on right. Upset that he cannot find the right paper towel rack or hand dryer.

TIMID: Cannot urinate if someone else is watching. Flushes urinal as if business concluded only to double back and pee when he is alone. This neurosis can expand if not confronted. Some men can’t urinate if there is someone else in the room, the building, the parking lot, the county…

INDIFFERENT: If all urinals are occupied he goes in the sink.

CLOWN: Look! No hands. He shows off adjusting tie, looks around at mess on floor as if someone else is responsible.

WORRIED: Not sure what he’s been doing of late. Makes flash inspection while standing at urinal.

FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up and down urinal. Tries to hit fly.

ABSENT-MINDED: Opens vest, undoes belt, unties shoes, wets pants.

DISGUSTED: Stands for a long while before giving up and walking over to the sink.

CHILDISH: Leaks directly into urinal bottom for utmost bubble affect.

PATIENT: Stands ultra-close to urinal, reads newspaper with free hand.

EFFICIENT: Waits until he must perform number two and exits into the stall where he does both functions in one sitting.

FAST: Stands back to take long swath at the urinal, blindly missing and peeing on shoes.

LITTLE: Stands up on box or uses kids’ pisser only to fall in and nearly drown.

WITHDRAWN: Places feet in urinal, goes down leg eliminating noise.

– Manuel Flushe