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Fifteen Seconds of Fame…

Fifteen Seconds of Fame…

The waddling slider grip proved effective

Wilhelm “Tobacco” Roosterwande loaded up the ball. No one debates the fact. What is particularly alarming and somewhat amusing is that he used horse apples in his final “salsa of saliva”.

The baseball slid 10 ways to Sunday. He happily loaded the ball without paying the price until finally he got busted in 1904, but not until 699 strikeouts had been recorded, and at a record pace. 

“I once saw his curveball break a foot, then drop to socks line.” said longtime teammate Tyrone “Pop” Fly who was often pressed into service behind the dish when things got wet and sloppy.  

Although passed by for Cooperstown, Roosterwande has remained an icon for upcoming spit ballers, toddlers, old farts and anyone who drools.

Bad rosin bags blamed for losses

(Denver) Decomposed, often spoiled rosin bags handled by the Colorado Rockies’ relief staff are being blamed for a string of blown saves at Coors Field.

The bags, filled with powdered resin from pine trees, are designed to enhance a pitcher’s performance while on the mound. However, according to baseball experts “the employment of rancid or bad rosin can have adverse effects causing inconsistencies, lack of concentration and general wildness on the part of otherwise stable hurlers.”

The often diagnosed respiratory problem, says the front office “is particularly acute in the later innings when relief pitchers are most active especially when afternoon heat or evening shadows come into play.”

Officials within the Rockies’ organization have been searching for some explanation as to poor relief pitching performances of late which have taken the club out of contention. Plans to secure new rosin bags are in the works but with plummeting beer sales and a demanding payroll it will be weeks before they can be secured. Selling advertising space on the bases and charging extra for mustard at the hot dog stand has been discouraged by the league probably won’t provide measurable new revenues. 

Asked why the presence of bad rosin bags has not resulted in a breakdown in opposing bullpens, a Rockies’ spokesman said he was looking into that.

“Maybe they bring their own,” he said, “or load up the ball with chew or some other controlled substance when the umpire isn’t looking.”   

– Signelle de Bushe