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Paradise Copyright Contested

(Crested Butte) It appears that another nasty fight is in the wings regarding copyright violations connected to the use of the term “paradise”. The squabble centers around who, if anyone, owns the standard and how and if any restrictions can be enforced.

In Colorado alone over 2,000 locales claim to be “paradise” but most have never filed for the copyright. Here in the Slate River Valley, Crested Butte has been employing the name/identity since the late, great Chuck Wirtz was a boy. Now, due to newly introduced litigation the town may be banned from using the description.

Yesterday attorneys at Morstern, Hamill and Glick filed suit in district quart claiming that their client, Dr. Emil Turlo, late of Maybell (Colorado) owns sole rights to the above said concept. Furthermore, they insist, communities and organizations currently infringing on his property are liable for fines and penalties so as to be determined by the findings of a judge and jury.

Turlo, a retired physician who once lived in Crested Butte, would not return phone calls because he is too old to use a cellphone.

“Anyone can clearly see that Crested Butte and not Maybell is paradise,” said a Bozo member who pledged a fight. “We won’t take this matter lying down,” she said. “The matter has already been handed over to our attorneys. I can’t believe someone could be so self-absorbed that they would make a big deal out of this.”

The unidentified Bozo member then rushed off to oversee the construction of what has been described as a system of trenches and ravines, built around her trophy cabin, aimed at keeping local dogs from peeing on her rose bushes.

Mystical places like Jardin, Antoquia claim the right to the paradise tag too

In last night’s town council meeting a proposal that the town save attorney fees and let Turlo have the rights to paradise was vehemently shouted down.

“Why should we relinquish our right to the concept? Isn’t there something about grandfathering in the state code. We’ve been paradise for a long time,” explained one councilperson who favors a fight. “Can you imagine how much it will cost to print new stationary and ski brochures? Will we have to rename Paradise Divide?”

Pro-paradise elements in the town say they’ll hire “other investigators (read: pistoleros from Paonia) if the present one doesn’t have the stomach for the work.”

Although Turlo can no longer use the phone, his attorneys say he is only going forward with the suit so as “to ruin other people’s fun this summer”. A pre-trial hearing is set for July 3.

-Fred Zeppelin