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Tin Man to Speak Before House

(Oz) The celebrated Tin Man of the Yellow Brick Road will undress the House of Representatives tomorrow in what is expected to be a plea for compassion. The legislative body has recently passed legislation lambasting the poor while attempting to extend corporate tax breaks.

He is expected to scold House Republicans, then encourage them to have a heart while longtime associate, the Cowardly Lion, will exhort Democrats to stand up to the Trump/Pea Party and the military-industrialists that have all but set policy for the past 70 years.

The Tin Man, himself a recovering politician, has been notably outspoken of late in his attempts to rescue what is left of Republicanism in this country. Admitting that his image has suffered due to links to Dorothy (a flaming liberal) and his continued support for her know-it-all economic advisor known only in dark corridors as The Scarecrow, the Tin Man urged the body to end bi-partisan politics for the good of the nation.

Everyone’s favorite little dog, Toto, the lone intellectual in the group, is slated to host the presentation. It is common knowledge that he terrier-mix has set his sights on the Senate in 2016.

Despite engraved invitations and the promise of a free martini lunch following the talk, only three Congressmen are expected to attend. The other 432 will be out campaigning or playing golf with lobbyists. 

– Xeno Phobichek