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EGO TOURISM MAKES LANDFALL THIS SUMMER

Arriving on the heels of ecotourism, ego tourism is already making inroads despite the current snow depths and recent monsoons. According to the experts it all plays into the same idiocy as selfies and cosmetic surgery.

The bitterly acknowledged clean air industry allows outdoorsy clientele to be photographed next to a snow-capped 14er and yet look bigger and more important than the Goliath peak. Shorter customers might enjoy a wide-angle experience along a raging river bank sandbagged by egoists in muscle shirts and tight yoga pants, then monkeyed with to cover the rough spots.

“The idea is to apply, employ and document our client’s strong points,’ said ego tourism pioneer Irma Button. 

“If someone wants to be swallowed by a trout that’s one challenge. If someone wants to run down a herd of elk they may have to do so on their own time.”

Fortunately most ego tourists stick to the daily menu of ladders and waterfalls, guard duty in full military regalia, 300-foot high dives and fighting badgers with cutlery. 

“Discovering gold, hunting wooly mammoth, milking moose and parachuting from drones are often more expensive,” added Button, due to leaden inflation, access to Chinese props and the much publicized lifeguard shortage on public radio,” continued Button from a prepared text. 

It is expected that privileged pariahs with time on their hands will line up for this new experience in lifestyle presence and trendy self-promotion*. 

*If you are already larger than many of our parks and monuments please see our customized excursions for bigger groups.

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