All Entries Tagged With: "Muffy Hollandaise"

Interview with Muffy Hollandaise

Ms. Hollandaise, outspoken on everything from leash laws to HIV, lives in her Bear Creek condominium purchased with McDonald-Douglas stock. Although a flame-throwing liberal she supports Israel and thinks the guys and gals down at the World Bank would be fun on a date. We caught up to her in the Montrose Wal-Mart parking lot.

Horseshoe: Good day. I see that you like Taco Bell. You have lived in Western Colorado for almost a year. What do you think of all sprawl south of Montrose?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: That’s nice. You wear your activism well. Do you think there is any solution to global warming?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: Yeah but it’s part of the greater whole. Are you afraid of terrorists?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: What about the trade deficit and the growing competition with China?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: Where is China?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: What about the Mideast, the private contractor abuses, the costs of maintaining an army there and the perception of the Arab people as to our goals in the Mideast?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: What about the movement in South America to rid themselves of World Bank and IMF extortion on that continent?

Muffy:” I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: Who will win the Democratic nomination for President in 2024?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: Do you think the US needs a firm policy concerning illegal aliens coming into the country?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: Are there UFOs flying around up there?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: Is the world coming to an end?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: What about all of the starving people all over the planet?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: What would you do if your bank burned down?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: What if Sawpit was washed away in a flood?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: What if someone developed a feedlot adjacent to the Valley Floor and established a tuna canning plant on Bear Creek?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: What do you do to make the world a better place?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: What if, all of a sudden there was no more gasoline to buy?

Muffy: I live in Telluride.

Horseshoe: What about the prospect of total annihilation due to nuclear warfare or an accident like Three Mile Island or Chernobyl? 

Muffy: I live in Telluride

Horseshoe: Where do you live?

Muffy: I beg your pardon. That’s getting very personal.