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Lemmings Flip House Seats – Many Injured

(Venison, CO) A catastrophe of immense proportions is still unfolding near here this morning after first responders failed to locate survivors at a scene of mindless destruction. While the loss of lemming life is deplorable, the political ramifications may benefit certain fringe parties. The robotic demise, sad or successful depending on your attachment to local lemmings, is not surprising given the nature of the beast.

 This fuzzy report comes on the heels of Center for Disease Control findings that laughter is deemed an essential service. Rated directly between liquor and gasoline, giggles, snickers, guffaws and crackups fit comfortably into this hallowed classification. If confusion persists, or you want to know more about the poor lemmings, call your gov’ment.

-Marigold Tilapia

“And then the pasty-faced bastard said that Sophia Loren had been (and was still) fat. That’s when I boxed him in the gob. No, I am not sorry.” 

– Conor Sturgeon in Buren of the Dolomites