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Anchor found at bottom of Irwin

(Crested Butte) A long forgotten television news anchor has been salvaged from the bottom of Lake Irwin this morning according to local police divers. The discovery, which interrupted a national ice fishing competition for three hours, brought throngs of interested onlookers from as far away as Lake City.

A phony smile plastered to the anchor’s face provided some comic relief in what was otherwise a solemn, chilling scene.

Although no positive identification has been made, authorities are quite sure the anchor is the infamous Theodore Head, who had been missing from Denver’s KBOP-TV since 1999. Although he did not survive the incident, his hair was still perfectly in place at the time of the recovery.

Head disappeared moments before 2022 after predicting that the world would end before the late news that evening. 

Link: And like Maurice Hearne so eloquently explains in Night Boat to Tangiers it was “as though he was laid out for the deadhouse.” (mortuary)