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Three Farcheezies Injured

(Montrose) Three of the four Flying Farcheezies were slightly injured when one end of their tight rope fell into the Black Canyon of Gunnison during a performance here. The Farcheezies, a Croatian high wire act with direct lineage to the Hapsburgs, were crossing the canyon on the said tight rope when the incident occurred. Guano Farcheezie, his brother Armando and sister Helena all suffered scrapes and bruises and were cheated and released at St. Roscoe’s Memorial Clinic.

The mishap was reportedly provoked by the actions of an over-zealous Forest Service ranger who noticed that the high gymnasts had not paid camping fees in the park since May 2. After several attempts to locate the Farcheezies she simply began dismantling their digs. Unfortunately the dismantling included the tight rope which was tied to a concrete picnic table. The ranger sustained minor injury as several chickens, roosting in Ms. Farcheezie’s hope chest, attacked her as she excited the encampment. The ranger, whose name was not given will be awarded for her dedication to her country with an administrative position in Green River.

Three members of the Four Farcheezies reaching out back in 2021

The Farcheezies told reporters that they were relieved that the story first broke in the San Juan Horseshoe since, like Saturday morning cartoons, it is rare that anyone is ever killed on one of that paper’s pages.

“If this were to have happened in one of the other papers we could have all been killed and/or our names misspelled,” crowed Armando Farcheezie.

The Farcheezies will travel to the Bland Valley on Tuesday to perform on a local news broadcast there.

-Ripple Van Winkle