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DAWG AIR SLATED TO GET OFF THE GROUND IN SEPTEMBER

Regular canine-friendly flights will begin from hub designated US cities beginning this fall. The companion procedure that dictates one person to one dog was called a loving breakthrough.

The canines will have to pass a simple good behavior test or show a certificate from an accredited dog training school. High decibel levels, inviting aromas, response to other dogs and seat assignments are also expected to dictate who will travel and who will stay home.

“It’s an inspired attempt to get a leg up on less responsive airlines,”  said Dag Katz, president of the new airline. “Up until now these airlines have ignored a large segment of the population making it very inconvenient to fly with larger dogs.”

Mandatory IQ testing for accompanying humans will be strictly enforced since it is accepted reality that bad owners make bad pets. 

In addition, all flight attendants will have experience as dog trainers. Veterinarians will be on call in first class.

The flights remain expensive but not twice the quoted prices of other carriers. The fact that dogs do not generally check baggage and file complaints will be considered as the fledgling idea gets airborne.

“Did you ever try to fly a Rotweiller on one of the existing airlines? It is a nightmare. You don’t know until moments before the flight if Rover will make it to Rio or Bella to Buffalo.”

Dawg Air has pledged to make certain that all humans and dogs make their connections properly and that all special diets are accommodated. 

“Most of the time the pooch passengers sit quietly looking out the window, napping or wondering when the plane will land. 

The US Humane Society has yet to comment on the matter. Critics say the agency is awaiting more information when in fact it is waiting to have its paw greased.

– Kashmir Horseshoe