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Celebrity Gets San Juan Red Carpet Treatment

(Silverton) A visiting celebrity was welcomed to Silverton this week with a short parade, a windy speech by dignitaries and a barbecue in the park. The unidentified guest ate and drank liberally then, after a gratis stopover at a local liquor dispensary, headed off for Durango on the train in the company of two local ladies.

“We don’t know exactly who he was,” said one Greene Street shopkeeper but he was famous all right.”

Cynics over on Blair Street say the whole thing was a fraud and that the man was not a celebrity at all but only “swindler” drifting through the San Juans.

“That is hogwash,” said a resident on Greene Street. “We know a celebrity when we see one.”

Sources at the Triangle Service, where the celebrity attempted and failed to fill his tank for free, told The Horseshoe that the town had been bamboozled.

“It’s a good thing he didn’t stay longer or they might have elected him mayor,” said one mechanic.

– Olivia de Quirke

“It is my great desire to reform my subjects, and yet I am ashamed confess that I am unable to reform myself.” 

– Peter the Great