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Survivalists Like Elkton

(Crested Butte) A survivalist group has named the community of Elkton to its list of the Top Ten Most Liveable Towns in America according to Assault Life, a cult publication out of Northern Idaho. Elkton was named due to its pleasant climate, its ethnic makeup, accessibility in the winter, and proximity to a major third world ski area.

Towns do not qualify for this honor because they support any one group over another or because they have expressed a fondness for any one political or social orientation. They are so listed because of their envisioned potential for riding out a military crisis. The storage of food and weapons as well as the privacy to conduct the business of defense were also major considerations in the voting.

The group calling itself The Lighter Shade of Pale Brotherhood ranked Elkton, located some seven miles north of here up Washington Gulch as number three on its annual register. Beating out Elkton were Deadhorse, Alaska (first) and Ouelette, Maine (second). Other communities receiving recognition in the top five were Grand Isle, Louisiana; Rexford, Montana and Orkney, Saskatchewan as the Pale Brotherhood membership leaves something to be desired in the fields of math and geography.

– Margot Rotweiller

“Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”       – H.L. Mencken