Sanctions on Kim Jong-un’s hair lauded

(Pyongyang) Relatively obscure sanctions on Kim John-un’s hair by the US and its allies today received the glowing support of by Seoul Barber’s Union.

Cutting edge hairdressers in the south were quick to welcome fiscal restrictions placed on North Korean leaders following a barrage of missile testing in the Sea of Japan.

“The nuclear tests are one thing,” said a spokesperson for the powerful follicle guild that claims over a million members. “But that haircut!”

Sources indicate a growing resentment of Kim’s hairstyle in both nations on the Korean Peninsula.

It was not clear what ramifications the measure might have here, Crippled critics of the regime say most of its population cannot afford even a trim while counterparts in the south enjoy all the comforts of regular hair hygiene.

“Business is booming even in the small villages in the south,” said the spokesperson. “We have gone to great lengths to separate ourselves from the North Korean dictator. “We don’t want people in the international community to think his hair was our idea in any way, shape or form.”

-Susie Compost