Realestatus Interruptus‭ ‬Act Eradicated

(Ophir, CO — I’m From Telluride Magazine — April 28, 2016)

A harsh 19th Century land use edict has finally been abolished in this 21st Century resort hamlet at the base of 14,000- foot Mount Endowment.

The Ski Trenches, a loosely aligned community, just downwind from the now defunct Wilson Spirit Refuge and Recovering Llama Ranch, had at one time required that the community sport at least one Realtor for every ten residents. That was then. This is now.

“We are witnessing the passing of an era,” said Warren Trafalgar III, who has held an assortment of licenses since last week. “We can only see good things in the works now that the statutes have unshackled us all.”

The termination of the much hated and clearly antiquated Realestatus Interruptus Act will allow the resettlement of Pandora and the rezoning of Liberty Bell subdivision from penal-rural-industrial to aerial-subsidized-agricultural. It’s a lot like colonization. It wasn’t fit for the working class but could make a great condominium compound for the ultra-rich.

The infamous act was originally created in 1879 to provide creative financing on early civic projects in town. The original owners of the property, the Ute, had no credit rating or deed culture, and banks were uneasy lending money on unimproved land.

The static situation became more clouded since the Utes had never asked to borrow anything from their new neighbors in the first place. In 1880 alone over 75 closings could not be consummated due to archaic banking practices and timidity at the higher levels of finance.
“One never knows who or what he might run into in the mountains,”
– Hannibal of Carthage, 211 BC