PINK FLOYD TAKES EXCEPTION TO CHINESE LUNAR PROBE

Far Side of the Moon? Pardon me

(LONDON) The much beloved rock and roll band, Pink Floyd, has no problem with people walking all over the moon. Whether they are American, Russian, Chinese or Martian makes no difference to the musical group that claims millions of listeners down here on earth.

What Pink Floyd does not appreciate is the reference to the Far Side of the Moon that, according to photos taken by the Chng’e 4 Rover, is not dark at all. Besides squashing legends akin to green cheese and the man in the moon, the soft touchdown on the lunar surface confirms the impossibility of direct communication from the earth.

“The far side of the moon always points away from the earth leading early astronomers to refer to it as the dark side of the moon,” said a Chinese astronaut who expects to land on the lunar surface sometime in 2019. “We love Pink Floyd but the lyrics in Dark Side of the Moon are incorrect!”

Claiming poetic license, Pink Floyd does not want to made out to be liars or lose the allegiance of its fan base due to “petty observations and the opinion of those who would discredit musical adaptation and mild reference to concepts held deep in our hearts and accepted in our vernacular.”

The Chang’e 4 landed in the Von Karman Crater in December, a landmark located on the far side of the celestial body. Scientists in Shanghai say they hope to further study the surrounding dirt and subsurface and send back photos proving there is no real dark side of the moon.

And this on the heels of the lunar development space explorers at Kepler Mission K2 say they have discovered an entire new world out of reach of our solar system. Called K2288Bb the project has detected countless planets and stars unknown to man before this date.

“Many of these planets could support life,” said a Kepler spokesperson. “This is an exiting discovery although it may take centuries to determine just what we have found here.”

-Tommy Middlefinger