November 30 is Bathrobe Day at Monarch

(Garfield-on-Monarch – October 6, 2015)

The 38th Annual Monarch Bathrobe Ski Races & Snowfest Celebration is scheduled for November 30, the Monday following Thanksgiving weekend. Unconfirmed sources told The Horseshoe that any skier showing up in only his or her bathrobe can compete in the complimentary day-long athletics and may qualify for the grand prize, a set of 138-pixel, 211-henway jurisdictional blizzard tube skis, thought to have been manufactured in downtown Salida.
Interested skiers should report de riguer at the Monarch Lodge no later than 8 am. Approved accessories include goggles, gloves, and ski hats. Otherwise it’s just bathrobes! Skiers should expect to be scrutinized prior to the first event. Down, woolen or even Gore-Tex robes are acceptable. No capes or robes made from cardboard or tin foil will be allowed. Sadly, no snowboarders have been invited since none of them will admit to owning bathrobes or pajamas.
Outdoors enthusiasts, college students, snowmobilers, hockey players, climbers, cowpersons and the general public are encouraged to participate in this winter extravaganza!
“It just goes to show that the sport of skiing remains half athletic expression and half fashion show,” said a Monarch spokesperson.

“Western Slope water is not the cleaning solution for Denver’s Brown Cloud.” – Beano Silvertooth

“Why bother to rinse it out? He’s just going to drink out of it tomorrow anyway.” – A young Ulysses S Grant aide when asked to clean the general’s field cup on the Mississippi after the siege of Vicksburg in July of 1863.