New Gas Guzzler RVs on Block

(Branson, MO — Slug News – July   19, 2016

The newest and largest recreational vehicle ever to roll off an assembly line will be less than fuel-efficient. That should be no surprise to anyone although the size may knock a few critics off their high horses.

The shiny Slugland Freedom is 7000-foot from bow to stern, operates at .000005 miles per gallon and maintains cruising speeds well over 23 miles per hour.

The size and speed should be a benefit to older people who cannot see well or are high on legal pharmaceuticals. There are a reported 18 mirrors on the rig (stock) as well as multiple towing packages at a premium. The RV costs in the neighborhood of $350,000.

“Of course we’re talking highway miles in the mountains, said Ethan Knoll, executive designer of the road craft. “They are slightly sluggish on the hills too in fact we don’t recommend use on steep driveways either.”

Knoll went on to say the RV is not suitable for running errands or driving to bingo since it is hard to park and visibility is poor.

“The best idea is to park it somewhere,” gestured Knoll. “It’s got a music system, a microwave, a stair master (on premium models) and a state-of-the art terrorist repellent system…the whole works!”

The Slugman, which screams of improvidence, can easily consume the oil reserves of small countries such as Qatar or Bahrain in just one afternoon.
– Ripple Van Winkle

“Witches cannot bear the touch of the crucified Jesus. Thank God for science.”         – Dismas, in The Relic Master