Local Map Maker Realigns Planet

(Ridgway, CO Fun With Geography April 6, 2016)

Little Elkview Wannamaker has succeeded in changing the world, at least on paper. The spunky 2-year-old, a prodigy cartographer, decided that for fun he would connect South America and China by an extended land mass borrowed from Canada and running through the Tropic of Cancer.

When he had finished placing every tiny Pacific island in place even Amerigo Vespucci wouldn’t have recognize the place.

According to the Society For the Preservation of Superstitions and the Brotherhood of Physical Geographers this exercise proves that the world is flat.

“This is complete nonsense,” said a spokesman for the latter organization. “Some little kid with a crayon cannot change the position of countries, much less entire continents.”

Meanwhile trade is brisk with Colombia and Peru benefitting from the wide-open coffee market in China, while former ports, Shanghai and Hong Kong saw record exports of manufactured goods to South America.

“What had to be shipped across an ocean can now be delivered right to the door of the consumer,” said Zxing Taosace, of Communist China’s Capitalist Yangtze Press.

“The money saved on these transactions will be used to build a footbridge across segments unsafe for negotiation.”

Chain store addicts in the United States are angry that they have been left out of the lucrative shopping opportunities but many could not locate the continents involved on their cell phones.

– H.L. Menocken