Jawbone May Be 500,000‭ ‬Years Old

(Dallas TX — Skeletons and Heirlooms — April 4, 2016)

A dusty jawbone found in an n abandoned gravel pit may yield untold secrets about who we once might have been according to noted bone experts. It is reportedly one of the best-preserved artifacts to surface since the Great Pyramids were unearthed.

The lower jawbone is believed to belong to a rare Stegomastodon who was no spring chicken when she expired, said archeologists at North Texas State at Denton.
“We know the beast was a resident here since her jaw was locked in the y’all mode, a definitive and familiar status,” said Dizzy Dalhart, Professor of Body Chemistry at the same university. “She was also a female.”

“When we chipped away centuries of makeup we found a slight chin and an attractive face and jaw. This reaffirms to me the protective attributes of a little blush and lip toner.

– Melvin “Breakfast Meat” Toole