Ham Radio Geek Brings Home the Cosmic Bacon

(Stellar 17 – Quadrant 555 – January 5, 2017)

Ham radio enthusiast, Melvin “Breakfast Meat” Toole claims to have made contact with “like-minded” beings on Uranus and Pluto. Insisting that he has conversed with alien beings since the 70s, the self-taught, continuous ultra-wave technician spends his evenings chatting in primitive code.

Despite efforts by the FCC and other government agencies to discredit him, Toole has repeatedly offered taped conversations, and select coordinates from unexplored regions of the Universe.

Melvin “Breakfast Meat” Toole taking a break from taking a break at his favorite beach bar.

“Our conversations basically come down to small talk. We are careful not to get too political or elitist in out quest to improve intergalactic communication,” he said. Last night I discussed the increase in Black Holes with an amateur radio operator from an unnamed star near Neptune and although the reception was poor we managed to exchange some pretty heavy information.”

Toole said his alien friends were most interested in muscle cars, genetic agricultural breakthroughs, governmental charades and whether or not Michael Jackson would be producing another LP after Thriller.

“I guess they didn’t know he was deceased and I wasn’t about to be the one to break the news,” he frowned.

– Gabby Haze

“Crossing the International Date Line single can be a lonesome, yet relaxed endeavor.”    –  Small Mouth Bess