Ghost of Jim Morrison Returns

(Jack’s Cabin) The ghost of rock and roll legend Jim Morrison is back in Colorado, according to residents here who claim to have spoken with the popular icon. The lyrical spook has apparently mingled on Elk and even stopped to wet his whistle in the town’s bucket shops.

“Why the surprise? Crested Butte has been the destination spot for a host of questionable characters since the 1800s,” said a town source. “We’ve hosted gunslingers and ginslingers, tramp miners and trollops, evangelists and gypsies, party girls and cowpunchers, but it has only been within the past ten years that celebrity ghosts have discovered the place.”

The town, as readers will no doubt recall, received national notoriety in the 1970s due to the ridiculously high incidence of UFO sightings. In addition teams of parapsychologists have verified the presence of a lingering spirit world alive and well in many of the town’s historic landmarks.

“So far not one of these visitors has caused problems, although most of the extraterrestrials tend to drink too much,” continued the source, “and the ghosts don’t seem to drink at all. Right now we’re trying to communicate and share information with both control groups.”

One minor setback is that neither of these visitors, including the likes of Morrison, spends any money. According to CBMR statistics they don’t stay in hotels or buy life tickets. They can just be on the mountain all day, unencumbered by the laws of a physical world and the restrictions of distance and space.

“That doesn’t make them cheap. It makes them frugal,” laughed our spokesperson. “There are lots of vitamins in pizza and coke.”

Resort personnel expect that a new marketing scheme will be implemented, focusing on the plethora of recreational opportunities available here.

“If we can simply tap into this endless stream of visitors we might never see an off-season again,” said a chamber release. “We feel that package deals for these people is feasible by next year.”

Meanwhile, a slated concert by Morrison at the Center for the Arts is on hold until negotiations can be resumed or living members of the Doors, Morrison’s band, can be contacted.

“Jim has been rather illusive when it comes to making a commitment but we do have a slew of hot digital, electronic polka bands scheduled for March.                                                      -Warren of Wexley