Game Crossing Signs Confuse Game

(Montrose – March 25, 2015) The plethora of warning signs strategically placed on local highways this winter by the Colorado Division of Transportation has resulted in mass confusion among the deer and elk population.
Many of the herd animals, wards of the state, are simply confused as to what is appropriate action while other resent the uniformity as an invasion of privacy. All agree that things were fine in the past, and that the meddling of C-DOT has only made matters worse.
“The deer and elk are hesitant to cross the highways anywhere due to blinking lights that distract them and uneasiness as to just what constitutes a legitimate game crossing,” said Slim Pudge, a born again taxidermist who now works as a missionary among the herds. “The signs are no more than visual pollution and have no redeeming value since deer and elk cannot read.”
Pudge is convinced that the situation will continue to deteriorate and reach an apex when the bears wake up.
“The bruins will never go for this,” he spat.
The state had little comment on the matter preferring to ignore criticism and concentrate on a much maligned study aimed at determining if herd animals purposely jump out in front of moving vehicles or if eating sagebrush is really that much fun.