Freedonia Abstains – Shangri-la, Brigadoon issue travel warning for U.S.

(Atlantis) Joining the roster of fantasy nations advising against and in some cases prohibiting visits to the United States are the Himalayan kingdom of Shangri-la and the Scottish village of Brigadoon.

Citing recent violence in Wisconsin and Denver, the political entities join other locales, most notably Atlantis, Oz, Neverland, Mordor, the city of Whoville and Yopnapatawpha, an imaginary county in northwest Mississippi.

“While the U.S. government busily creates warriors it does little to insure a smooth return after military service is completed,” said the Viceroy of Brigadoon. “The low priority attached to mental health services there allows for many sick people walking the streets of the nation. These tragic players are a threat to tranquility and the pursuit of happiness. Meanwhile both political parties hack away building bombs and whitewashing social problems. Gay marriage? legal pot? American Idol? Who gives a shit?

Most of the warnings focus on safety while a surprising number of chimerical locales caution their citizenry as to the explosions of negative energy, dangerous polarization, anti-intellectualism, house-of-cards opinion, ignorance of the rest of the planet and general sterility found in many parts of the United States.

“The populace in the central North America is not happy these days and we are concerned that the Land of the Free bubble is about to burst in the U.S. (aka “The Best Country in the World” according to carpetbagger politicians and talk radio hosts), said a foreign minister from Valhalla. “We are recommending that our nationals avoid the place at least until after the elections in November.”

While some of these finger pointers aren’t in the top ten in education, quality of life, human rights, poverty in the midst of plenty, prison populations, narcotic use and clean air either, none has the global impact of the Mega United States.

“We don’t find any other societies that score so low in all of the major categories that determine what is safe and what is perilous. What is particularly tragic is that so many Americans think they live in a stable environment and that travel to other countries represents the big risk factor .”

The travel warnings do not intend to condemn the United States but rather to recommend that foreigners avoid the country until these ills are addressed.

“The U.S. has had the opportunity and the tools to become enlightened but chooses rather to wallow in racism, xenophobia, denial  and self-obsession. Despite the positive, generous character of the average American, the versatility of travel, Elvis, the incredible National Parks and the beautiful wide-open spaces, the negatives tip the cart in the perilous direction.”

Most of the critical sources agree that with some serious adjustments the country could once again return to its place in the sun.

– Kashmir Horseshoe