Farcheezies Join REA on Kebler Power Line Spat

(Crested Butte CO — May 25, 2015) Internationally renown high-wire artists Margot and Slim Farcheezie have hired on with the local rural electric association. The collaboration is in an attempt to smooth feathers and lighten the hearts of residents here, angry over power surges and proposed power line expansion.
Many inhabitants feel that the electric company shuts off power during off-season months yet still charges the same. They say this recent marriage with the Farcheezies is a further attempt to convince its customers that a new Kebler power line is necessary. Local environmentalists say the power line will only disrupt wildlife and create an unsightly intrusion in an otherwise pristine locale.
“We regulate the power during what was once called off-season to save energy and since no one of any consequence is in town anyway,” quipped an electric spokesman.
The Farcheezies are quite popular in Crested Butte due to Croatian heritage and longtime association with CF&I in Pueblo. The two own 28 dogs. Suspicious citizens see the arrangement is another attempt to whitewash the matter and go on with the master plan.
“A good number of the newer residents in Crested Butte, thinking they have found a utopia, do not have electricity and want to keep it that way,” said Sallie Scallope of the utility concern. “Sure they do. Just let them make it through a winter without the amenities that your power company provides. Ha!”
According to the current direction the Farcheezies will be on call 24 hours a day to trouble shoot Kebler, offering transport and live polka music on heavy snow days. The electric company has spent a reported $35,000 on trapeze equipment, hire wires, tights, tutu dresses, lighting, nets and an orthopedic seat for Mr. Farcheezie.
“Anything is better than paving Kebler,” gasped one resident.
Horseshoe readers may remember the Farcheezies from back in 1981 when the pair was inked to extend the debt ceiling while controlling inflation in South America. Anyone wishing to speak directly to the Farcheezies should call the Irwin Lodge here they will be staying until their doublewide arrives from Eastern Europe. – Teddy Kilowatt

Filed Under: Soft News


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