DAILY BULLETIN BOARD

In case you missed it while you were asleep a secret Presidential election took place last night at approximately 3:11 EST. Projected winners vary depending on what corporate media you may have tuned into this morning. Despite the actual vote, several candidates were awarded a lion’s share of the super (and not so super?) delegates.

With the reenacted election just eight months away, politicians may just as well terminate their governing charades and just campaign the year round.

“We have no Democracy and a crumbling Republic in 2016,” said the ghost of Eugene V. Debbs an avowed union leader who passed away back in 1926.   “We hold races for delegates instead of real elections. We have discarded the concept of one man – one vote for electoral colleges. The entire process is a sham and getting worse. No governing – just campaigning and more empty promises.”

Don’t you just love The Donald’s body language and unrehearsed sneers? Isn’t it clever how Hillary posts so many smiling minorities behind her while she lectures away. Both are phonies. The only candidate with integrity, Bernie Sanders (but he’s one of them socialists) clearly won Colorado but our free press declared Hillary the winner!

Meanwhile the GOP, that political columnist Charles P. Pierce compares to the Whigs of 1852, is in chaos. Turtle-headed Mitch McConnell and rodent-like Paul Ryan plot to save a sinking ship while Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio embrace religious fantasies, goose-stepping to the celestial fields.

In a related story. Astronaut Scott Kelly, who this week returned from a year-long sojourn in outer space has reportedly requested to be sent back “up there”. Kelly said that in light of the electoral circus on earth he might like to stay in space a while longer.

“Just until they sort things out down here,” explained a spokesperson for the astronaut.                  -Melvin O’Toole

March 3, 2016

“Take these two pills and Caldas (Ron) me in the morning.”

– Pharmacist in Manizales, Colombia