Cutting Edge Unearthed Near Silverton

(Howardsville) The notorious cutting edge, an international standard for innovation, was discovered Saturday morning by two retired miners searching for pumpkins near the entrance of Stony Pass. The topographic marvel, believed to be centuries old, was not removed but rather blueprinted with specimens rushed to town for examination.

     Reliable assayers believe that the disclosure will negate previous findings by the Italian Navy in 1872 suggesting that the cutting edge was simply an anomaly, or angular deviation observed from the sun. If the cutting edge, as they insist, is now defined by one space or geographically tied to the San Juans it will be much easier to manipulate and, yes, replicate.

“In all my years as a tramp miner I’ve never seen anything like it,” said resident Don the Bomber, “unless of course one counts the night Myrna Gilhooly danced naked on the snooker table at the American Legion.”

The edge is located in a sensitive region where only last year pine trees voted to ban the United States Forest Service and seek protective status for existential woodsies and elk without partners.

For related piece turn to Gummy Bears Create Sticky Scenario on Page 45