Congress Forced to Meet in Europe

UNESCO Special to the Horseshoe – February 25, 2015
In an effort to comply with the Gramm-Rudman Act of 1985, the 2015 United States Congress has agreed to hold all future fiscal sessions at an undisclosed spot in Northern Europe, or maybe Southern Africa. The act, aimed at reeling in rampant spending, has been in force for 30 years. The finger pointing Congress, awash in partisan bickering has been unable to concentrate on the issues in Washington where opinion polls and lobbyists have them sidetracked from noon till night.
It is hoped that the lawmakers can get down to business out of the limelight.
“Since so many legislators are either out campaigning or on fact finding vacations abroad they don’t really need to be in Washington for a shadow appearance, paying lip service to constituencies,” offered Senator Oral Noise (Unitarian-CA) sponsor of a bill that calls for the relocation.
Surprise..Surprise! The measure passed on the first vote like a double-shot of prune juice in the House chambers. Congressmen voted unanimously to give themselves another vacation, and they also passed a bill that authorizes a cost of living increase.
One freshman senator from Wyoming or Montana was thrilled with the news saying he’s never been out of the country and couldn’t wait to see Europe, or even Africa. Another representative from Rhode Island equated the development with joining an elite, high roller’s Peace Corps.
The only snag appears to be the reluctance of Allied governments who may not want the Americans there taking up their courts and chambers. One possible swap is in the works where Congress has use of the British Parliament, in exchange for the occupation of the U.S. Capitol by Brits during the Cherry Blossom time in D.C.
It was not disclosed if elected participants would have the use of their counterpart’s jets, limos, hairstylists or extramarital companions. Nothing was said of towels or linens either. Insiders say the continued NFL matches played at Wembley Stadium may help smooth out the proposed switch.
Meanwhile host of Southeast Asian nations voiced distrust of the arrangement saying they would like to be included in what looks like a golden opportunity for getting paid for doing nothing. – Dirty Sally

Filed Under: Fractured Opinion


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