COLORADO SKI COUNTRY TO HEAT HIGHWAYS

– from the Crested Butte Albatross – used by permission – January 10, 2015

Due to harsh criticism by most members and the exit of the prestigious Wolf Creek Ski Area from the fold, the Colorado Ski Country has decided to do something besides send out pamphlets. According to a press release the promotional entity has arranged for the construction of underground highway heaters along major roads leading to ski areas.
Although the group did not include a blueprint of the plan they did say the work would be complete by next Thanksgiving.
“We may charge a slight toll to people with ski racks but that will be determined at a later date,” said Christy Stemm of Colorado Ski Country. “That fee will be minimal when one considers the convenience and safety factors.”
Unfortunately once the heaters are installed there is no way to regulate the temperature from above therefore the they will most likely run when the roads are dry and throughout the summer months as well. The effect that this increase might have on the local ecosystem is not known at press time.
“Hey doomsdayers, skiing is environmentally advantageous for all,” blasted Stemm. “Just look at all those lovely condos over here and those parking lots over there. The industry has grown to the point where it desperately needs a spokesperson and I’ll be available just as soon as I find a wall jack for my microphone.”
When asked why Wolf Creek dropped off the roster of Colorado Ski Country members Stemm said only that the resort “never got any snow and could not be counted on to provide lift lines for out-of-state visitors”.