BIDEN GIVES RED STATES TO CHINA

(Montrose) President Joe Biden today ceded control of most of the southern and middle of the United States to China so as to satisfy interest payments on outstanding loans and avoid financial default. According to reliable Republican sources here, the transfers will go into affect on July 5 so as not to interfere with Fourth of July parades and fireworks the day before.

     The area effected includes all territory from Florida to Texas and from Indiana to Oklahoma, as well as Wyoming, Idaho, Utah and Montana. Residents there will have until July 31 to vacate the premises or swear allegiance to China.

     “We hated to give up North Carolina, Montana and Florida since those states may well vote Democratic in coming elections,” said an Administration spokesperson. 

     The decision to give away half of the United States came after the Chinese called in a series of debts relating to trade imbalances and “egg roll diplomacy” said White House.

     “You won’t read this in the papers,” said the GOP source. “Biden has made sure of that. He has pissed away the Confederacy!”

     Alluding to the reputed deep state, the more transparent liberal media and the lies circulated by progressives, he went on to say that Red China is now “a sad shade more red than before”.

     “At least the Chinese restaurants might improve,” he frowned. “They have certainly gone downhill under this administration.”

For a related story see 

“Colorado Meth Alley Counties Volunteer to Join Red States in Gerrymandering Blitzkrieg”

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