THE ADVENTURES OF AMAX AND GANDHI

Part XXVII
“The Ghost Dancer of Washington Gulch”
Special appearance by Lightnin’ as Public Input
The scene: The Red Lady access road off Kebler Pass
Thingfish: Why wouldn’t you want us to mine molly, Mr. Gandhi? You know that mining interests are respected corporations that simply seek to improve the lives of us all without commitments or emotional baggage down the road.
Gandhi: Like a soul? It is immoral to scratch and dig on Pachamama, my son.
Thingfish: As superintendent of this shootin’ match its immoral if we don’t show a profit and placate our stockholders.
Gandhi: Many of your stockholders are already rich. Why do they want to level a beautiful mountain to enhance their fortunes?
Kingfish: Oddly enough the molybdenum we pull out of Red Lady’s guts will build mountain bikes for mindless recreationalists and tennis racquets for the idle rich…but that’s really not the point, Mr. Gandhi. The point is jobs. Jobs!
Enter Momma (the High Country Citizen’s Alliance spokesperson) and her daughter Sapphire, who among other accomplishments has been a questionable marriage to Thingfish.
Gandhi: Jobs, is it? That’s what the British said when they invaded India in the Eighteenth Century, and at least they built good roads.
Momma: They won’t come in here and mine. We’ll kick them out one way of the other like we did in the late 70s. Right over might! We’ll put signs up all over town and have a dance and…
Sapphire: Now, momma, mining might not be so bad. It’s progress like those Habitat shacks and Wal-Mart and the new City Market in Gunnison. It’s sure to help trailer sales and increase the tin building ratio from here to Saguache.
Momma: And the coal company came with the world’s largest shovel…What we need is a vigil…or maybe a hootenanny. That’s it. People will respond to this crisis. The people won’t let Amax come in. We’ll pool our funds and…set up another green belt, or maybe a conservancy.
Gandhi: Hold your horses, momma. Get real. The only way to defeat these molly mongers is by nonviolent resistance. It worked in India. It reminds me of a dream I once had while traveling by rail from Durban to Cape Town.
Thingfish: Will this take long? I’ve got work to do. Water rights are a very lengthy and messy business.
Gandhi: Once upon my dream there was plenty to eat and life was good. Then one day the caliph decided that he wanted to have more than everyone else. He called it divine right and said he deserved more due to his station as ruler of the land. He began to eat…and eat…and eat. After a short while the poorest of the peasants, who had been getting by all right, began to see a shortage of food. Soon he had none. The caliph told him to be patient, that he would be better off as a result of the redistribution of provisions. Things got worse. Their livestock starved. Soon the merchant class was hungry, then the nobility. In a matter of one year, the caliph had grown fat while the landscape was barren. No one had the energy to work the fields and grow food. After a while even the caliph was hungry. Soon the people had killed all the wild animals for food and were forced to return to their ancient origins in the sea where they were quickly devoured by giant fish who had never heard my story.
Thingfish: What’s your point, Mr. Gandhi?
Gandhi: My point, Mr. Thingfish, is that no mater how you attempt to rationalize it some things are just wrong…like tearing down a beautiful mountain to make fat men in some East Coast boardroom rich. Then, to complicate matters there is the impact on the lives of the people already living nearby.
Thingfish: What’s the matter with our plan for “The Last Great Mining Town in the West”? They’ll be jobs, and well…jobs…
Momma: And traffic congestion and all the social ills that go with booms. Then one day Amax will have had enough and they will move to the next slaughter zone, leaving behind an evil legacy for our children to clean up.
Thingfish: Now momma, Amax is a responsible, environmentally sound corporation.
Momma: What about Climax?
Thingfish:….Moly…That was then, this is now.
Sapphire: I liked Mr. Gandhi’s dream. Can I buy it on cassette? I want to find out what happened to the caliph?
Momma: Sapphire, honey, Mr. Gandhi’s dream was just a metaphor like skier days, bronze passes, trophy homes and tailings ponds. Now where did I leave my monkey wrench?
Continued sooner than we’d like