*The last Congressman was purchased by lobbyists (who will from this day on enjoy diplomatic impunity) this morning, leading to a recess until after campaign season is over in November.

*The Senate failed to pass a diluted measure banning dull marriage within the confines of the United States. Washington National tickets go on sale today.

*Lilliputians win three seats when Democrats and Republicans fail to return from the Congressional latrine.

*Combined Senate votes to table motion to squash a patent on a motorcar that runs exclusively on campaign literature.

*Maps of Afghanistan are passed out to sleeping elected officials in the House of Representatives. Many mistake them for cruise ship promotions.

*Legislation skirted on national health care program since politicians are already covered. Chronic unemployment statistics unveiled to a legislative group that still has somewhere to go during the day.

“There was never a good war or a bad revolution.”

– Edward Abbey

Filed Under: Fractured Opinion


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