Wong Hamstring Haunts Coaching Staff

The jury is still out in the hamstring case of High Flyer’s ace Wilber Wong who pulled the tendon while bicycling across the Azores in search of the perfect rosin vineyard last summer.

“Actually he may have snapped a wishbone,” said personal trainer Corky Kellerheistermann. “We’re taking precautionary action just the same.”

Sources unfamiliar with these proceedings say he won’t be back in pads and skylights until Thanksgiving.

Meanwhile Wolfgang “Porky” Leviathan’s hamstring came back negative according to team physicians who say Leviathan will overnight at the Mao Clinic before undergoing stuffing surgery on Wednesday. Doctors there assured us that his sacroiliac would be as good as giblet gravy in a week or two.

“I’m not afraid to die,” said the three-time champion and bad boy goalie Leviathan. “I just hope my insurance covers the medical bills.”

-Suzie Compost

Filed Under: Lifestyles at Risk

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