WENDY PREGNANT, RESTAURANT CLOSED

(Montrose) The local Wendy’s Restaurant will be closed indefinitely due to the surprise (some say out-of-wedlock) pregnancy of its pig-tailed owner/front person. The freckle-faced slut was not available for comment. Sources here are suggesting just who the father might be.

“It’s very, very difficult to say who she has been with over the winter,” said a fry cook who claims to have been out of town since last December.

Conjecture has it that the father is either the Burger King, Col. Sanders or Ronald McDonald (and not Donald Trump as detractors insist) Since Wendy is a minor all or some of the suspected daddies could face criminal charges.

Filed Under: Hard News

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