Voter Turnout Akin to Wash Day

(Dayton, Ohio) Statistics compiled during the mid term elections confirm suspicions that more people did their laundry than showed up at the polls on November 6. The domestic chore of clothes washing won out by just a few percentage points—an improvement over 2016.

Is this the 49% that the two-party campaign pimps have been bragging about?

Sociologists contend the behavior indicates that voters would rather have clean clothes than elect clean leaders in the House and Senate. Many feel disconnected to the political process and prefer to spend time and attention on domestic and janitorial matters that they can control.

“Who could blame these people considering the terrible choices that both parties present,” asked Bert Cheer, proprietor of Bert’s Scrub and Wash, reputed to be the largest commercial/retail laundromat on the planet. “I’ve seen gray polo shirts more interesting than the issues presented to the voters. These politicians keep talking but offer no answers. I’ve seen worn-out  bloomers with far more imagination and insight.”

When asked why potential voters couldn’t wash their socks and cast their vote on the same trip to town one researcher suggested that it would be too much for most.

“Like a hungry man too lazy to cook some folks have enough trouble getting the right change and separating the whites from the colors,” she said. “To ask them to multi-task in this manner would clearly blow a fuse in their poorly managed lives. Maybe if the gov’ment added bleach or fabric softener they would pay more attention to their democracy.”

– Tar Sands

Filed Under: Reflections on Disorder

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