US May Magnetize Proposed Wall

(El Pesto) Shadow forces within the United States government continue to insist that robots from “another place and time” are illegally crossing our southern borders to take jobs away from American workers.
The answer to the problem: Magnetized walls from here to the Pacific Ocean.

Although no immigration wall of this magnitude currently exists many leading social and law enforcement agencies are calling for more security on top of what is yet to be built. Construction of a permanent control structure, once the kingpin of the Trump campaign appears to have fallen through the cracks in light of Russian probes, expensive Florida vacations and the crisis with North Korea.

And now it’s robots.

As anyone educated in the United States knows robots are built of metal and are governed by the laws of gravity and negative attraction factors that are known to immobilize robots. The clandestine blueprint, which allegedly calls for the installation of over 2 billion mounted microscopic magnets on the south side of the wall, has been criticized by a plethora of local business and civic groups and even human rights groups who say the action is not necessary.

“These robots are a figment of a paranoid imagination,” said one small border town mayor. If there are robots coming our way they will most likely take to performing jobs that no one else wants to do. The numbers may spike at first but will soon settle down in response to a sluggish economy like the human surge a few years ago”

He went on to add that most robots are economic refugees and do not pose problems for society.

“There are a few gangsters and criminal robots to be sure,” he frowned, “but what we need are better methods for culling these intruders and separating the bad apples from the good ones.”

Many residents confirm that no new wall has been constructed and that skeleton crews are only repairing existing infrastructure along the existing frontier.

“I for one wish they’d get off this wall business and rebuild the rotting infrastructure in the rest of the country,” scoffed the mayoral source. “Nobody seems too interested in this kind of work. Maybe there’s not enough money to be made. Maybe these robots would be interested in a little moonlighting.”

– Fred Zeppelin

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