Unearthed parchment could be God’s Joke Book

(King Hezekiah RV Park, Israel) Archeologists and theological historians here think they’ve stumbled onto a double-edged fortune, at least in a Biblical sense. Digging near Tel Be’er Sheva, a team of seven prominent anthropologists has unearthed a stunning prize that they say is the legendary Joke Book of Jehovah or God’s Joke Book.

Many diverse groups who may be a bit premature depending on the book’s actual content have called the discovery a sign and a blessing.

Dr Oxford Cambridge

“We all read the Old Testament and can attest to some rather lewd and seedy episodes that we all of course remember the most vividly, if not fondly,” said Dr. Oxford Cambridge, who has amassed millions hosting a Wednesday evening off-color bible study/bingo revival for a robotic workforce chained to their benches and in need of a good joke.

“If anyone knows jokes it’s me,” said Cambridge. “I have over 7000 in my repertoire, more if you count the one-liners. I have 200 plaid suits, 35 exploding umbrellas and more than 300 squirting lapel boutineers in my dressing room at all times!” he swallowed hard.

“I tell you, this mummified book is the Real McCoy! It covers the Four Basic Joke Groups as professed by Michael the Archangel at Hialeah Park:

Three guys walk into this oasis; Woman gets on a chariot; So my hairdresser says; Mother-in-Law lives above the garage. It’s as clear as the nose on your face!”

Artifacts like this are often hidden away for eons making positive identification that much more difficult for accredited scientists.

God’s Joke Book?

“The passages establish a pattern* of supreme abandonment and disturbing willingness to create and move on,” say those on the ground here. “And at the same time the hand-written laugh log displays a chilling, sophisticated, almost eternal sense of humor. It should be duly noted that the author is particularly rough on Pharisees, Zealots and the religiously intolerant.”

Although at the top of his much publicized Mistake List humans do not warrant much respect as far as the pecking order of godly. They appear to be the often-subtle butt of all cosmic criticism and demand less and less restraint. An occasional earthquake or hurricane keeps them guessing. “They couldn’t boil water had I not sent them fire.” an out-of-context punch line identified as same from God’s Joke Book?

*Strong references to with Vaudeville, Burlesque and Slapstick lends credence to claims that God could be at least part Jewish, which does not break with any of the scant existing dogma on the subject.
**How can God tell so many jokes about mother in laws when he has never had one?
***Not exactly the constant gardener, not the doting father figure or even a standout babysitter, God may have turned off his listening device before most of us are out of bed in the morning.

 

 

 

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