TRUMPS OUT LOOKING AT PRISONS

Trump family values were showcased this weekend with major players enjoying an outing together after attending church services at a bank in Florida.

The first extended family visited three state institutions and two federal lockups in apprehension of stays at either or both facilities. They did not have contact with inmates who had been shuffled off so as not to distract or subtract from the highly publicized tours. Each family member has his own “must haves” including cells with balconies and golf privileges.

“They love to spend time together,” said Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Kellyanne Conway in perfect unison. “We hope they found a nice slammer. We plan to visit just as soon as they are all incarcerated.”

Sanders later denied making the statement following what was called a tense briefing by shadow White House staff. Conway has yet to change her story. Neither responded to reporters who asked if the pair would be joining their bosses behind bars “any time soon”.

Seventeenth Century FOX News covered the event lauding the Trumps for spending time as “a good Christian family in the beautiful spring weather” and for thinking ahead on matters of national security. It added that the Trumps were only there in an official capacity and the excursion had little to do with the First Step Act, recently passed in a rare bipartisan vote. The network added that the pleasant weather was proof enough that global warming was just another farce, “another witch hunt”, parroted one analyst.

“If we had more families like the Trumps we’d have more families like the Trumps,” said the GOP propaganda tool that delights so many. “That confirms it for us and should for you too or illegal aliens and gay people will get you.

“Some prisons are better than others,” said Jared Kushner (not pictured) who may find out sooner than later.

– Kashmir Horseshoe

Filed Under: Soft News

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