Trump hit by pitch

(Washington) President Trump, appearing at the plate at a Congressional softball match, was struck in the forehead by a wayward pitch last night and is recovering in the Green Room at the White House. He reportedly has the blues and doctors are giving him reds.

His decision not to wear a batting helmet was lauded by his quasi-macho base. They still think he’s tough. Trump has been hit in the stomach several times in softball matches since his election but never in the noggin. Trump refuses to wear elbow pads, batting gloves or knee pads (even around Putin). He normally employs  glove but can not catch worth a damn according leaks pouring forth from the keystone.

“He didn’t even try to get out of the way of the ball,” said the catcher for the Democrat squad. “He just stuck out his head and collided with the ball.”

Trump is currently batting .125 in intellectual circles while leading the league in stolen dreams and unfounded bravado. He is most likely bound for the minors although injuries to starters may dictate a different scenario in 2020.

In a related development the Topps Baseball card company say it will terminate the Donald Trump card since no one collects them. Experts say the data on the back of the card is all lies.

– Dolores Alegria

Attractive female arm wrestler needed to sell ads for Horseshoe website in Durango and Telluride. Good pay.

Filed Under: Soft News


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