Trump Declares Every Night is Taco Night

(Key Lardass) In apparent celebration of his bogus acquittal in an iniquitous Senate, Donald Trump has proclaimed Every Night Is Taco Night. The announcement came at a no expenses paid MAGA rally where hired supporters donned hats and waved flags behind the president so as to stimulate television factions at home.

A follow-up book burning was then held on the White House lawn even though it is clearly prohibited by the First Amendment. Sadly, some 300,000 copies of Triggered by Donald Trump Jr. were mistakenly burned in the melee that (according to the White House) drew some 7 million devotees.

Sales of Triggered have been less than pathetic. Critics link the poor performance to the right-wing’s discomfort with the printed word. The smoldering copies (chronicling the life and times of singing cowboy Roy’s Rogers horse named Trigger) will be categorized as sold, bumping overall sales upwards toward 300,666.

“We should have read the book to them over the radio,” said one now banished publisher, who added that his company has suspended the printing of three-dollar bills with two faces of vice-president Mike Pence on each.

Clerics who support the president drove home a GOP claim that Jesus supports fracking.

“It’s right there in the Bible,” squeaked one.

Meanwhile Americans from Iraq to Indiana can enjoy a bag of cut-rate tacos and then go back to sleep.

– Kashmir Horseshoe

Filed Under: Soft News

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