Traffic Banned on Dirt Roads

(Ridgway) Due to complaints from new residents here all traffic will be banned from dirt roads until further notice. Citing dust as the main culprit, the petitioners, many from the freshly paved worlds of the suburbs and the cities, say they did not realize the inconveniences and potential health hazards when they purchased their property.

Parties excluded from the ban are strictly local traffic and service vehicles necessary to insure the New West lifestyle. It was not known how other citizens will adapt to the measure or how long they will be forbidden to traverse the effected by-ways. Either an ID card system or official tattoos are expected to be employed to identify the good folk from trespassers.

“You better keep an eye on that long-haired nut.”(referring to Bill McSorely’s friend and regular customer, Czech anarchist, Hipployte Havel) said a cop to McSorely, proprietor of the famous McSorely’s Old Ale House in Manhattan in 1935.

“Why?” asked Bill.

“Hell fire man, Havel’s an anarchist,” continued the cop. “He’s in favor of blowing up every bank in the city.”

“So am I,” said Bill.

Filed Under: Fractured Opinion

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