(Ouray) Thanks to a grant from the Federal Daylight Shavings Club (Aka Mule Deer Time), the Ouray Town Clock will now keep the exact time for the entire day. Due to a shortage of funds the time piece has been shutting down at approximately 4:12 am each day forcing city employees to reset the thing each evening before bed.

“It’s a dangerous climb especially in winter,” said an official here, “but the chore is also a rite of passage for the younger workers. They may not know the ropes but they all have all kinds of ropes around here.

Traditionally the employee with the least seniority inherits the vertical task when the clock runs short of juice.

“Imagine the affect on tourism if the clock was stuck at 4:12 when the sun came up,” said the source. “It would ruin their vacations. Most would opt for Disneyland or Las Vegas instead of coming to Ouray although there appears to be little difference in these destinations in July and August.”

– Melvin Toolstoy

Yesterday I was chastised about Trump by an 86-year-old woman on small town plaza in Colombia. Later I realized she was guilty of the same close-mindedness as his supporters. Not in the fact that she didn’t like him, but in the fact that she had to break everything down into black and white so as to partially digest the issue. She presumed my politics to make it easier for her tiny brain to function. It was easier than cooking up original thought. Ignorance comes in many colors and languages.The rest they puke up when they think no one is looking.

Filed Under: Hard News


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