SNOW GODS CONVENE

Continued from “The Long Underworld”

…and just leave it all in the hands of our North American couterpart, Awonawilona. The Pueblos know all about this part of the country.

Thor: I’m getting pissed off. This taking too long. Once again, I am not in favor of cloud seeding in any manner and would like to see a show of hands. All in favor of dumping on them say Yeah!
All gods: Yeah!

Balder: “That settles that. We’ll bury the Rockies in yards of snow until at least April. Six days and six nights of snow to start with, then some sun, then more snow. Every night and all night in March. And now the chair recognizes Ull, god of skiing, winter and hunting.

Ull: Are we going to let on to the humans that the big chill is about to befall them?

Odin: Let me answer that. If we tell the humans about all the snow they will just try to pile it up in the middle of their streets, or try to spin it into gold. I say keep quiet and let the flakes go their way. Sooner or later they will figure out that they’re in for quite a winter.

Thor: Agreed. Why tell them anything? They get it all wrong anyway. They think we’re mythological but that their gods are real. By the way, where is that guy in the sandals? You know the liberal one from down around the Dead Sea…I thought he’d be here.

Ull: But he does not know snow.

Balder: We don’t need his help with the weather but he could spend some time straightening out a few of his followers, and maybe he could have a little talk with Mohammed as well.

Vali: All in good time. When the great floods come in the spring they will have to recognize our legitimacy or be washed away. Did you have a question or comment, Aegir?

Aegir: Thank you Vali. I only wanted to ask “Is this some kind of Satyr?

Odin: Very funny, great god of the sea and brewing. But a better question might be: How can we get one of our guys appointed to the Supreme Court? Is anyone thirsty?

Thor: No mead until after business is concluded. Aegir attempts to steal my thunder and it’s making me very angry.

Odin: All right, that’s quite enough. We’re all snow gods here and we should be able to get along. To reiterate: Everyone is in agreement. We will bury Colorado in snows higher than the walls of Babylon, deeper than the ancient rivers of Mesopotamia…whiter than…

Ull: Excuse me Odin but you’ve made your point and we all need to be getting back to Valhala. Even though we’re gods it’s getting dark and the roads are full of reindeer and elk.

Odin: I’m not quite finished, Ull. Is the big, bad god of winter afraid of a few little deer? (Clearing his throat) So it looks like it’s time to get out the mukluks. In closing I would like to thank everyone for coming to our annual winter meetings and extend a special thanks to Cuchulainn and Finn MacCool for the delicious stew.

Filed Under: Reflections on Disorder

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