Sex Researcher Pregnant

(Placerville) Local scientist, Dr. Olivia Tinkleholland, has turned up pregnant. Although the father is unknown  there are reportedly “plenty of potential candidates “. The baby is due in December.

Tinkleholland, who for decades has been studying the sexual behavior of ground squirrels, was surprised by the predicament.

According to directors of the research effort, she may have gotten too close to her work. Over the past few months several colleagues have continually expressed concern that her hands on approach be curtailed. Within a consortium of trained, experienced biologists and behavioral scientists there have been few explanations for the phenomenon. Most, if fact have been inclined to skirt the issue.

“Olivia is a gifted professional,” said a longtime associate. “I assure you she operated in the open and clearly had no other agenda than the betterment of Colorado’s ground squirrel population. Her activities after hours have not been chronicled and potential osmosis is expected to be fully examined.

“She could end up being a study within a study,” said the source. “That could be an embarrassment for everyone connected to the research curriculum for decades to come.”

The development should serve as warning to investigators and pollsters alike who might find themselves wrapped in data and overwhelmed by statistics instead of common sense. The take-no-prisoners policies exercised by Tinklleholland in her private life may have contributed to her present situation. Up until now little of her story makes much sense according to persons familiar with similar occurrences and oddball episodes.

“What did she expect?” asked her mother who is visiting from Cleveland.

Filed Under: Fractured Opinion

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