RISING SEA LEVELS THREATEN OFF SHORE ACCOUNTS

Leading meteorologists and climate experts, banned from White House-sponsored meetings on climate change, say that raising ocean levels will create havoc in seaboard locales as early as next summer.

One particularly vulnerable target of this planetary phenomena are the countless off-shore money pits created by tax-evading corporate executives and the idle rich.

“Building your house on sand.. and all of that rot, has come home to a soggy roost,” said a scientist who has spent the last 30 years studying sea lions in coastal environs.

“We have seen raising water, vicious storm patterns and even aggressive behavior by generally docile sea lions against swimmers in the Pacific,” she said. “We can expect more attacks by animals who may end up as the caretakers of the planet after we humans extinguish ourselves. At the present you can pretty much bet there won’t be a lot of drilling or fracking near these sacred off-shore accounts which could further destabilize the nautical environment.”

The big question remains: Is terra firma resilient enough to handle the weight of this pecuniary cornucopia and assorted emotional baggage generated and exacerbated by the presence of criminals on these once lovely beaches. It looks like Atlantis for the Wealthy, where tax evasion replaces Neptune as King of the Oceans.

Both sides of the controversy agree that the flooding of these fiscal redoubts is an unintended result of the continuing denial of man-made climate change.

Yesterday Coast Guard Intercepts 4 massive yachts carrying precious metals, gems and gold bars as well as building supplies to an undisclosed destination. Unreliable sources here believe the ships were bound for legendary off shore accounts, owned by the rich and immoral.

GOP politicians and others remain at risk on the mainland due to leaks in the ceiling over at the House of Reprehensibles.

A salty, sodden blueprint, discovered in Vice President Mike Pence’s purse by what GOP patriots called “gay communist agents of Iran”, calls for 75 mansions to be raised in the new maritime communities. “If the Israelis can do it, albeit in semi-desert, so can we on the high seas.” it bragged.

In other news House Republicans have passed what feeble Democrats call “a biased and weighted” Pinnochio Resolution, despite the fact that no one had bothered to read the fable. The new bill lubricates diminished rights, theft of safety net benefits, the adoption of mistruths and hoarding of other people’s money.

For an unrelated but just terrific story please turn to Broncos put off at exclusion from Weekly NFL HighlightsOur boys are consistently left off due to poor play. in Soft News

Adopt a Congressman! The corporations certainly have.

Filed Under: Lifestyles at Risk

Tags:

RSSComments (0)

Trackback URL

Comments are closed.