REGIONAL SNORTS

Mosquito Negotiations Break Down

(Ridgway) Negotiations between local residents and mosquitoes have been terminated due unresolved issues here. Both sides accuse the other of underhanded manipulation and distorting facts and statistics. In one of the later meetings human representatives even went so far as to swat mosquitoes just outside the conference room itself.

Calling the mosquito contingent “nothing more than bloodsuckers” one of the more vocal humans suggested “eradicating the species once and for all.

“That’s rather brutal, isn’t it,” buzzed a mosquito spokesman. “Think of all the good things we do for them. If they don’t want to share the planet they should cowboy up or just stay indoors for the summer.”

Experts say that unattended pools of stagnant water are the breeding grounds for trouble. Talks, held every summer have failed to alleviate the problem on shared existence. This is difficult when the basic priorities of each group create conflict for the other.

“There are lots of people and lots of mosquitos out there,” said a sprayed-down human from the shade. “Some will win and some will lose.”

Emperor’s New Clothes Missing From Free Box

(Telluride) As of early this morning the emperor’s new clothes are still missing here. Efforts to identify the clothing have been hampered by the weekly post-festival status of the much renowned charity closet.

“We think the clothing in question was mixed in with the clothing that had already taken up residence there, said Buffy Hollandaise of the local inquisitor’s bureau. “We are up against a very perplexing dilemma in that emperor’s clothes are difficult to see.”

Hollandaise did not comment on conjecture that there are other invisible clothes in the Free Box. When last seen she was busy e-mailing herself regarding an afternoon meeting.

Meanwhile the emperor, bare as an imperial prune, remains in semi-hiding at an undisclosthe  Pandora shed and breakfast. Faced with the choice between certain arrest for public nudity and growing fines for delinquent parking fines, he has limited his fiscal sojourns to evening and early morning. In some cases friends have dropped coins into the meters in support of his majesty and his predicament.

– Zorro DePlants

          

Filed Under: Reflections on Disorder

Tags:

RSSComments (0)

Trackback URL

Comments are closed.