Ping Pong Ball Industry Faces More Lay-offs

(Denver) The already hard-pressed ping-pong ball industry has announced further lay-offs due in part to lagging sales. Experts within the multi-million dollar trade say the slow-down is a result of consumer fears.

“Every time some writer or politician mentions the word recession we lose another sale,” said Pauline Paddled of the International Brotherhood of Ping Pong Ball Workers. “I wish they’d just shut the hell up!”

Leading financiers agree that an economy based on mindless production of worthless goods can do just as well in bad times as in good times. They add that fiscal strengths and weaknesses are all relative to what the consumer believes that he has been fed. Meanwhile the gov’ment continues to urge people to buy things they don’t need just to prop up the invisible economy.

The ping pong people say that they will have to cut jobs through 2025 unless the public decides to play ball.