PEOPLE NEED MORE SLEEP IN SPRING, SAYS DOC

(Snorewood) The average human requires more sleep at the change of seasons than during the rest of the year according to one bloated authority on the subject. Dr. Efram Pennywhistle, author of Cat Naps, Siestas and Blackouts, told a group of insomniacs here that due to energy shifts and the onset of cold weather the body descends into a semi-hibernation pattern not unlike that one experienced by other fur-bearing mammals.

“Ignoring this bodily function can lead to depression and illness,” said Pennywhistle. “One must learn to properly respond when the body makes demands of this nature. Fighting off fatigue in favor of career considerations or in order to honor social obligations can be devastating.”

Pennywhistle estimates that the average, healthy human may require up to 22 hours of sleep per day with many getting by with as few as 18 hours in a 24-hour period.

“Put that Protestant work ethic out to pasture this time of the year and resign yourself to some horizontal therapy,” said the doctor who added that “just spending extended time in bed, especially when engaging in amorous behavior, will not fill the bill when good old-fashioned rest is what is needed.”

– Rocky Flats

Filed Under: Lifestyles at Risk

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