Patrons unaccounted for in Montrose Post Office line.

(Montrose) Have they fallen into the Great Abyss while waiting to buy a stamp or send a parcel? Are they victims of a conspiracy or simple poor planning? Did they take a number?

Today local postal sources expressed concern as to a roster of refugees lost, or at least last seen, in line here to buy stamps. The absences have no known precedence and public concern is quickly turning to fright. Long waits in long lines have been the prototype for two decades but until now everyone returned from the ordeal.

“We lost my brother Earl back in 2015 right before Valentine’s Day,” said a Simms Mesa woman. “He went in to send some candy and got caught in the shuffle. One minute he was addressing a greeting card and the next he was not there. If anyone has seen him please tell him we love him. We hope he’s eating well.”

Projected wait times to buy a simple stamp are hovering at about 17 minutes yet people continue to line up. What choice do they have? It’s not like there is a post office on every corner.

“My wife went in on Thursday to buy a stamp or two. When I checked on Friday she was still in line,” said a local rancher. “When I went back on Saturday morning she was nowhere to be found.”

Overworked postal clerks and long lines have plagued the facility since the population exploded in 1995 and the federal agency failed to keep up with the demand for services. Satellite offices were not capable of handling the overflow and many customers have taken to driving to other locales to send their mail.

“I drive ten miles to Olathe were the transactions are quick and friendly,” explained one Montrose man. “At high traffic times like summer and the holidays many of us show up with coolers, books, decks of cards and folding chairs.”

One minute they were there and the next they were gone.

“I Can’t even send my granny to the post office anymore. I’m afraid she’ll never return. Last winter she was packed up and mailed to Omaha.”

Anyone searching for friends or loved ones displaced, mislaid or gone astray while standing in line at the Montrose Post Office is instructed to go to the official website of the postal service and click on Missing Persons. Maybe they are there.

– Fred Zeppelin

Filed Under: Soft News

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