A pathetic thing happened on the way to the Senate

NRA spokesman blows balls off

(Washington DC) A National Rifle Association executive was severely injured this morning when a Luger 10mm, semi-automatic pistol, stuffed down the front of his pants inexplicably discharged blowing his testicles over into Maryland. The pistol-toting lobbyist, a leading voice against gun control in any form, was cheated and released from St. Roscoe’s Retired Congressmen’s Hospital in Arlington according to his wife.

He had been on his way to Congress to deliver weekly cash payments to senators and congressmen who “understood the reality of arms and munitions in the 21st Century”. The explosion was far more intense than one might expect due to the estimated 800 hits of Viagra stored next to the weapon in his pants pocket.

“He had seen Sylvester Stallone or gangsters in Goodfellows carry pistols in this manner and figure it was acceptable,” said an aide. “He just forgot safety procedures in his haste to make a good impression on the legislative body. We’re still not sure how he go the gun through the webs of security that blanket the chambers.”

“There’s nothing that says love like a KG-99 or other assault pistol behind the old trouser snake zipper,” offered one late night talk show host in his monologue. It’s the one-two punch that went “Boom!” he said.

– Gloria de Quirke

Need to swap my 9 foot ceiling for an 8 foot ceiling.  It’s getting too hard to swat flies at the 9 foot level. Straight across deal.  No attached walls please.  Call by noon.  Hurry!”  Ask for Mike. 

Filed Under: Lifestyles at Risk

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