Nationals apologize to moms for “out of town” Series victory

The otherwise highly exalted Washington Nationals, winners of this year’s World Series, have some explaining to do.

After winning 4 of 7 games against the powerful Houston Astros the underdogs won the World Championship. The only problem is that they won all their games in Texas and lost all of their games at home in The District. This has not set well with the players’ mothers who had hoped to see at least one local victory.

“My mom lives in Bethesda and goes to games every week. She watched us lose on October 26 and still held out hope for a last chance win in Washington on October 27, “ said Stephen Strasberg, MVP of the Series. “She’s happy we won but disappointed that she was unable to be there to share in the celebration.”

Other players’ mothers harbored the same mini resentment saying that the local fans deserved at least one live victory at home. Instead they were forced to watch long-distance as their sons never gave up and won the knuckle biting competition against all odds.

“I used to live in Houston,” said Betty Rendon, mother of Nationals’ star Anthony Rendon. “After Anthony signed with the Nationals I moved back east where I sat and watched 2 of 3 games go down the tubes. What happened to the boys in their own park?” she frowned.

“I’m never comfortable when the boys go out on the road,” said Emme Soto, mother of the 21-year-old rookie phenomenon Juan Soto who delivered several knock out punches during the autumn clashes. “I know their coach is watching over them but that will never substitute for their moms. What if they drift to the wrong type of people or get lost on the way to the game?”

Several players have publicly apologized while others promised never to let this kind of imbalance happen again.

“Our fans were perturbed that we didn’t win a single game in DC but in the end it all worked out fine, said Ryan Zimmerman, the patriarch of the team. “Everyone is on board with that.”

One sour fan of undetermined source said he was sick of all the drama.

“Hell, they win The Series all the time…at least every 95 years,” he said. “Are we going to have to listen to all this whining again in 2114?”


Filed Under: Lifestyles at Risk


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